Sunday, June 28, 2009

Ode to Robert Vila, a funny guy...

Anyone who knows us, knows we like a good deal. We're drawn to a good deal like a fly is drawn to poop. So, as you could guess, we love garage sales, coupons, and our favorite: Craigslist.

About a month ago, Charlie's therapist came to our house to check out our setup. As we discussed some of our concerns and challenges with Charlie, she made some suggestions for toys/products that could benefit Charlie and help us survive. One thing she suggested is some sort of playset/swingset/tiered structure for him to climb up and down on. So we've been watching KSL and Craigslist, getting frustrated with not finding something that worked for us.

So I decided to take matters into my own hands. I posted a 'wanted ad' on Craigslist that basically said, "If you have a swingset that you'd like to get rid of, I'd be happy to buy it and pick it up from you." I was hoping to get ahead of the game.

I had one response. I thought the response and the chain that followed was worth posting. I hope you'll enjoy it.


On Tue, Jun 23, 2009 at 8:55 PM, Robert Vila wrote:

First off, I must say that a swing set is a horrible toy for a child. I had a swing set as a kid, and broke three of my ribs and tore my ACL on it. My career in little league soccer was ruined. I recommend that you get your child a sandbox. I have an old sandbox that I am not using, and would be willing to sell to you for $300. It is an awesome sandbox. It is shaped like a turtle, and the lid is part of the turtle too. It comes with beautiful sand filled from a beach on Utah Lake. Let me know if you are interested.



On Wed, Jun 24, 2009 at 8:54 AM, Matt McGhie wrote:

Dear Robert,

I appreciate your deep concern for the welfare of my child. I also appreciate your willingness to share what must be deeply repressed experiences from your childhood. I'm truly sorry for the life altering events that took place in your youth. Those days just never come back to us.... I know.

I, as a lad, played soccer as well. I remember with every detail the championship game, the game tied with just moments to go, and me dribbling through defender after defender, breaking into the clear, one on one with the goalie. This was to be my moment in the spotlight. This was to make up for all the times the kids made fun of my holey jeans. As I approached the goal, setting myself up for the game winning shot, I tripped and fell. The kids laughed again, and again, and again. I'm pretty sure the last laugh was because I also peed my pants. Anyways, when I stood up and made my way off the field, the first thing I saw was a turtle sandbox. I'll always remember the disdain on that turtle's face.

So, while I appreciate the very generous offer of your turtle sandbox, I'm going to stick with a less arrogant occupation to engage my child in, like licking rocks... very humbling.

In addition, I'd also like to recommend a therapist that has helped me get past my pain throughout the years, Dr. Jellyfinger.

All the best in your healing,


On Wed, Jun 24, 2009 at 11:09 AM, Robert Vila wrote:

Do you want to buy my sandbox or not? I didnt ask for a play by play of your youth. The swingset I had, had a faulty design and the swing came off while I was in the air, and I was sent flying into oncoming traffic. I am lucky to be alive. If you do not want your son mangled by a Dodge Caravan, then you should buy my sandbox instead. Sandboxes are 100% safe. I think a sandbox is much better than a swing set. Just some friendly advice.



On Wed, Jun 24, 2009 at 11:39 AM, Matt McGhie wrote:


I'm glad you survived. Therapy Robby. Therapy. It'll do wonders.

Also, I hate your turtle sandbox. Don't threaten me with it again. I had a neighbor that was buried alive in a sandbox. Don't try to tell me they are 100% safe. You're wrong.... dead wrong.



On Wed, Jun 24, 2009 at 2:25 PM, Robert Vila wrote:

You have to be a total idiot to die in a sandbox. I despise your swingset. Despise is a much stronger word than hate.

Your former friend


What am I supposed to say to that? Good form Robby. We could be friends. We think you're funny.


Lisa said...

Okay that had me laughing out loud...I cant wait to show John tonight!

Mark & Lorri said...

Maybe reference this poem...

Hate (it's such a strong word)
aka Ode to a Green Turtle Sandbox

Oh, hate
It's such a strong word
But I use it anyway
I use it a little too much
I've used it about a billion times
Just in one day
But if I'm using it because of you
I don't care how many times I use it
It's a sin
But that's not my problem
It's not my fault I hate you so much
Hate you so much
It's yours

It's nice we can have fun even when others are a little off their rockers!

The Chizel Family said...

you have got to be kidding me that is hillarious!! I was seriously rolling on the floor!

Nat said...

I was laughing so hard I thought, this has got to be a joke right!! Man, that's so funny!

Tyler said...

Dude...Bishop McGhie...that is the funniest, bestest, coolest story I've ever heard of. I almost peed MY pants! We love how you always stay true to YOUR form...Matts form...there is definately no other. Thanks for being you!

Tammy said...

you crack me up. Life is never dull for you guys!

Mike and Adrianne said...

I am laughing so hard! Thanks for the laugh today.

Kristie said...

So So funny!! ha ha ha! that's great!

The Yardley's said...

this is awesome. and i love how his story keeps getting more and more traumatic each time he emails you. like he flew off into oncoming traffic. great story, thanks for sharing.

Shel and Aaron said...

Seriously... I cannot stop laughing. I will never look at a sandbox or a swingset the same way again! And when my kids ask if they can have either one of those dangerous toys, now I know what to say!
Thanks for the laugh!

Steph - would you mind emailing me that lady's phone number? The one we talked about who might speak on organizing or dejunking. Thanks!!


jakenapril said...

wow. i am still laughing. great post, matty.

brooklyn said...

dave and i are dying laughing right now. SO. FUNNY.

JaMie said...

OMG this is seriously close to the funniest thing I have ever read! Thanks for sharing:)

cathy said...

you should write for David Letterman! That was a seriously, hilarious story. Jamie told me about it so of course, we had to read it!!! Loved it!!!

Jaidie Bug Boutique said...

This totally cracked me up thank you. Nedra